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Mothering Magazine Sponsored Chat with Elizabeth Pantley, author of " The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night" and "The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers".
www.mothering.com
7/26/05

 This chat didn't happen as planned due to a confusion over the time...but Elizabeth graciously stayed past the planned time and answered questions so I decided to post these since there was some great info shared!

Books by Elizabeth Pantley:

 

12:59:30 littleme2 My 23 mo old gets up 2-3 times a night for milk. I've tried reducing the amount but it just makes her wake up more times
12:59:41 ElizabethPantley Do you mean BF?
12:59:49 slogreco ?
12:59:51 cmdunn1972 ?
12:59:51 ilovezoeystar ?
12:59:53 Webmama_Tina Friendly Reminder: Please do not post unless it is your turn to ask a question. If you have a question, please post a single ?" and you'll be added to the queue. Have your question ready when your name is called. THANKYOU! :)"
12:59:56 Webmama_Tina there ya go
12:59:58 littleme2 No reg milk in sippy
12:59:59 ajensengal ?
13:00:21 Webmama_Tina here's the lineup:  slogreco  ilovezoeystar  cmdunn1972  ajensengal
13:00:23 ElizabethPantley Ok, so the question is about a 2 year old who wakes up 2-3 times a night for a suppy cup of milk.
13:00:42 littleme2 got a pop up, don't understand it
13:01:00 ElizabethPantley This is all about a habit :o)  The best thing to do is to make it less fun - begin to dilute the milk with water so it's not so tastey.
13:01:31 littleme2 sorry, how do i get in the lineup?
13:01:37 ElizabethPantley Also maybe some crackers in case she's waking for hunger
13:02:05 ElizabethPantley Also, talk to her! Sometimes we forget to do that. Tell her she should wait til it's light outside.
13:02:31 ElizabethPantley And make sure she has a nice, healthy pre-bed snack - like oatmeal and bananas.
13:02:36 ElizabethPantley All this may help.
13:02:37 ElizabethPantley Next?
13:02:40 MOD_Angie upcoming chatter(s):  debbiej    ilovezoeystar    jasonsmom  littleme2
13:03:07 ajensengal next should be slogreco
13:03:11 Webmama_Tina ahhhh, angie's back, thanks angie!
13:03:11 Webmama_Tina :)
13:03:21 slogreco I have a 10 month old, co-sleeping daughter. Im trying the gentle removal plan b/c I really only nurse her to sleep. she also takes a pacifier..."
13:03:33 slogreco what should I waen her of first?
13:03:37 slogreco wean
13:03:51 ElizabethPantley Join the crowd! Those co-sleeping BFing toddlers!
13:03:56 slogreco pacifier or night time breastfeeding
13:04:19 slogreco she only uses the pacifier to sleep
13:04:21 ElizabethPantley My new book for toddlers & preschoolers has several chapters on this popular issue... Let's go over a few tips....
13:04:49 ElizabethPantley If she accepts a pacifier that's good for you. As she can find one on her own and not need you to BF to sleep.
13:04:55 slogreco ok
13:05:03 ElizabethPantley The key is to have several in her bed and help her learn how to find one on her own
13:05:17 ElizabethPantley Since she's  old enough  to do this you have a good solution.
13:05:23 slogreco hmm. ok.
13:05:29 ElizabethPantley Pacis aren't a problem as this age, if used only for sleep time.
13:05:41 slogreco really? b/c i worry about that
13:05:54 ElizabethPantley No need to worrry unless she carrieds her paci around all day/
13:05:59 slogreco no she doesn't
13:06:20 slogreco so i should night wean her and teach her to find the paci on her own then
13:06:32 ElizabethPantley Then your issue can be easily solved. If your dd didn't take a paci and wanted BF only that's the bigger problem.
13:06:52 slogreco ok then.
13:06:56 slogreco i'll give it a try
13:06:57 ElizabethPantley I don't like the term night wean" as 'weaning' isn't really what you're doing..."
13:07:14 slogreco that's true
13:07:19 ElizabethPantley It's a matter of removing BF from an all -night soother position.
13:07:30 slogreco right, that does sound better
13:07:44 ElizabethPantley Anyone have an all-night BF child?? Raise your hand?
13:07:51 ajensengal i do
13:08:09 mommy2emmy I do
13:08:14 MOD_Angie i do
13:08:16 Hilde I do
13:08:21 ElizabethPantley I'll provide a few tips for that issue, since it's so common.....
13:08:24 littleme2 ?
13:08:35 ElizabethPantley Not just in this group, for among BF children in general.
13:08:53 ilovezoeystar me
13:09:02 ElizabethPantley When a little one gets used to breastfeeding to sleep it becomes a powerful cue for sleep.
13:09:10 ElizabethPantley The first thing is to separate the two acts.
13:09:21 ElizabethPantley BF on the sofa in a room that is not the bedroom.
13:09:28 ElizabethPantley Then move to the bedroom BEFORE your child is asleep.
13:09:44 ElizabethPantley In the bedroom you can use massage, patting, rocking, stories or cuddles.
13:10:03 ElizabethPantley If your child cries for nursing, go back to the sofa ,  nurse a bit,  then back to the bedroom to sleep.,
13:10:16 ElizabethPantley If your child separates sleep from BF then you won't be on call all night long
13:10:29 ElizabethPantley Also, as hard as it may be....
13:11:04 ElizabethPantley Don't you fall asleep nursing.....then your child falls asleep BFing.... then she'll need you every time she wakes up.
13:11:38 ElizabethPantley Also, toddlers and preschoolers can learn that We sleep in the dark, we nurse in the light""
13:12:12 ElizabethPantley We could talk about this topic for the next hour LOL but why don't we stick to the question format for the moment... Who's next?
13:12:22 MOD_Angie upcoming chatter(s): ilovezoeystar cmdunn1972  ajensengal  debbiej   jasonsmom  littleme2
13:12:26 ilovezoeystar is that really possible w/an almost one year old that has ONLY ever gone to sleep nursing and nurses ALL night long..with 5-15 wake ups every single night?  My 11 month old daughter would sleep 12 consecutive hours if only attached to my breast...
13:13:00 ElizabethPantley Oh sweetie! You describe my 4th child and the motivation for my first No-Cry Sleep Solution book!!!!
13:13:25 ilovezoeystar ive tried the PPO but she slurps me in like spaghetti and if I don't give her the breast she kicks and screams until I do...i've waited an hour or two but she'll keep the crying up unless I give in
13:13:30 mommy2emmy I have that same problem
13:13:37 ilovezoeystar I know, i read that part of your book and felt close to you b/c we shared that issue
13:13:38 ElizabethPantley My Coleton was almost a year old and nursing nearly every hour all night long. I don't believe in letting any child cry to sleep but I did find hundreds of gentle methods.
13:13:56 ElizabethPantley OK, then, let's talk about this topic some more....
13:14:02 ilovezoeystar I get SOO agrivated sometimes...two hours of a bedtime nursing routeen is insane...
13:14:20 ElizabethPantley If a child has only ever fallen asleep nursing he believes it is the only way to go to sleep.
13:14:30 ilovezoeystar We should start a big-brother house for sleepy mommies and nursing babies/toddlers
13:14:38 ElizabethPantley That's one reason for the PPO -- for those who don't know what that is....
13:14:50 ElizabethPantley LOL
13:15:25 ElizabethPantley Start with a bedtime poster that shows the steps to bedtime in pictures 1 - child getting into PJs   2- brushing teeth  3 - reading a book etc.
13:15:26 mommy2emmy Do we win a night of sleep? LOL
13:15:34 ElizabethPantley Yes, indeedy
13:15:37 ilovezoeystar LOL!
13:15:53 ElizabethPantley Then nurse your child but NOT until totally asleep.
13:16:20 ElizabethPantley Remove off the breast and quickly move your child away from the breast -- you can pat/rub/rock/shhh/sing....
13:16:33 ElizabethPantley Try to help him go back to sleep with the nipple
13:16:52 ElizabethPantley If he gets upset, you nurse for a minute, then remove again and try other methods of comforting
13:16:54 ilovezoeystar I'm willing to try anything to ask...but if I nurse her until she's just relaxed...and pull her from the breast shes going to sit up and start playing OR cry b/c she's so tired and wants more of Mommy's milk
13:16:57 ilovezoeystar oh..
13:17:05 ElizabethPantley Repeat....repeat....repeat....
13:17:22 ilovezoeystar will you come help? ;)
13:17:30 ElizabethPantley Well, you need to control the situation....move her to your shoulder and pat and sway or some such activity.
13:17:41 ElizabethPantley LOL
13:17:53 ilovezoeystar Thank you so much...i'll let you move onto the next question...you're a life saver...i'm star struck, thank you thank you thank you!
13:17:58 MOD_Angie upcoming chatter(s): cmdunn1972   ajensengal   debbiej   jasonsmom   littleme2
13:18:02 cmdunn1972 I'm FFing my 3 month old. He's been co-sleeping at 5-6 hour stretches/night, but hasn't increased in several weeks. I've tried increasing his nighttime bottle from 6 oz to 8, but it hasn't helped. Any tips for sleeping longer so he doesn't wake hubby? Thx!
13:18:05 ElizabethPantley I weaned my 4th ending 9 years of BF experience, I do miss it, so yeah, perhaps I'll take you up on that offer :o)
13:18:29 Webmama_Tina lol  ilovezoeystar
13:18:38 ElizabethPantley A 3 month old is still allowed to wake  up for a feeding :o)
13:18:46 ElizabethPantley They are soooo tiny and they grow so fast.
13:19:02 ElizabethPantley 5-6 hours is quite good for a 3 month old actually
13:19:09 ElizabethPantley No matter what others may tell you
13:19:19 cmdunn1972 Hubby just complains b/c he has to get up at 4:30 am and Sean seems to want to wake up at 3:30, right before the alarm clock
13:19:19 ElizabethPantley You might try a bigger before bed feeding
13:19:48 cmdunn1972 also, he doesn't always finish the whole 8 ounces
13:19:48 ElizabethPantley This will change! Have heart. They do grow up -- and much too fast....
13:20:11 ElizabethPantley Make sure the room is dark and quiet . That may help prevent more waking up.
13:20:23 cmdunn1972 what do you think of sound machines?
13:20:25 ElizabethPantley He may be full before 8 oz. That's OK