1st Mothering Magazine Sponsored Chat with Peggy O'Mara
www.mothering.com
10/12/04
154 Mamas in Attendance!!

*NOTE: This transcript was edited for ease of reading...including taking out the technical difficulties we had in the middle when Peggy's computer crashed. It also was my first Mothering Mag sponsored chat, and I had NO idea it would be this CRAZY BUSY (I never had another one like this after this one). I hadn't yet had a need for setting up a system of rules to deal with this many people trying to talk at once...It was a MAJOR learning experience for me and my helpers. As a direct result of this chat, I was able to develop my moderated chat rules, which I still use today. But at the time this chat happened, I didn't yet really know how to handle all this. So keep that in mind when you read it...

PeggyO: I'm ready if I'm in the right place.
sagira: Hello, Peggy
apmomof3: Hi Peggy
martachat: hello peggy!!!
SusieKoy: hi peggyo
wemoon: Hi Peggy :)
MamaMia: Welcome and thanks!
Beckie: You are in the right place Peggy
PeggyO: Hello all you Lovies.
Webmama_Tina: OK ladies....IT'S TIME
thistle_luna: hey
Beckie: I was just going over the guidelines Peggy
AmandasMom: <<hugs Peggy>>
Webmama_Tina: AT THIS POINT PLEASE TAKE SIDE CONVERSATIONS TO PM
Roses: Good afternoon :)
sunshine*girl: hej Peggy
PeggyO: Hugs to everyone.
doulamomof4: Thank you
onekid02: Hugs back to you
bekrain: thanks
mona: Thanks for coming on Peggy
sagira: Thanks.  Hugs back.. How do we start?
housepoet: Hi peggy
thistle_luna: :D
Webmama_Tina: LADIES PLEASE HOLD YOUR PMS TO ME JUST ONE MORE MINUTE
PeggyO: Great to be here. Do you want to start with a question, Tina?
Webmama_Tina: i would like to get out the intro stuff first....
mona: whoops, already sent one.... should i send it again?
Webmama_Tina: at this time i want to ask all conversations to be taken to PM....just double click the person you want to chat with
Beckie: Mona, just wait one moment, as soon as Tina calls for them resend. You don't have to send your question, just that you have one
Webmama_Tina: let me get the intro stuff said first, and then i will get you guys in line for questions....
PeggyO: Sounds good. I'm trying Green now.
mona: hey, me too!  :)
Webmama_Tina: i'm getting bombarded with PMs, so before i get this going...i want ask you all to please hold your PMS to me
PeggyO: What about this green?
mona: ohhh nice!
Webmama_Tina: this will work very well ladies, if you please be patient...we are very busy and excited....just hold on, thanks!
wemoon: looks nice!
martachat: its nice
Beckie: If you have non-question for Peggy questions, please PM me, I can try to help
Webmama_Tina: ok *phew*
Webmama_Tina: thankyou for understanding
Beckie: Green is a good color for you Peggy!
sagira: Yes, that's a turquoise
Webmama_Tina: first of all, welcome to MOMMYCHATS!!
Webmama_Tina: this is our first ever mothering sponsored chat, with peggy o and we are very excited to have her here!
SusieKoy: Yes, very cool indeed!
thistle_luna: *applause*
Bestbirths: Happy to be here
be11ydancer: me too
Webmama_Tina: we are also very excited to announce our official partnership with mothering magazine! weekly chats with mothering speakers will now be every wed
sagira: *whoopee*
saritabeth: this is great!
shelbysilva: me too :)
PeggyO: I'm very glad to be here.
apmomof3: That is great!
be11ydancer: cool!
Cazzi: how do we ask a question to Peggy?
Webmama_Tina: peggy will be regularly chatting her with you all....please join the mommychats egroup to get chat announcements
clara: hi everyone.  new to thischat business, but very excited to be here
Webmama_Tina: hold your questions please, i want to do my intro stuff first, lol
Cazzi: ok
Beckie: Let's all please be respectful of the speaker and let her finish
Webmama_Tina: friendly reminder to keep your side conversations to PM right now please
Webmama_Tina: thankyou...beckie will answer any questions you have via PM thanks beck
Webmama_Tina: in just a second...not yet though...i will ask you to PM me if you have a question for pegy
Webmama_Tina: peggy
PeggyO: Yes, Tina.
Webmama_Tina: i will be writing furiously so please bear with me....i will write your names down on a list and keep track of who's next
Webmama_Tina: please be patient as we are very busy today! :) as expected shelbysilva: what dos PM" mean?"
Webmama_Tina: if you have any questions at any time i will need you to refer them via PM to either beckie or celticangel
SusieKoy: click on a name to send private message
Webmama_Tina: PM means private message and you do this by double clicking on the person's name at right, in the user menu
Webmama_Tina: i'm typing as fast as i can, lol....you'll get to talk to peggy very soon....lol
Beckie: Please PM me with any questions about how the chat works. Click my name, the blue one, to open a PM window
Webmama_Tina: lets start with having peggy introduce herself, shall we?
Webmama_Tina: :)
Webmama_Tina: you're on, peggy
HeatherE: Hi Peggy!
PeggyO: I'm the mother of four children, Lally (30), Finnie (28), Bram (26) and Nora (22). They have taught me everything. In 1980 I was lucky enough to take over ownership of Mothering magazine by just making monthly payments.
mommytocali: Hi Peggy :)
be11ydancer: Hello Peggy!!
SusieKoy: awesome
sagira: Wow
dbhogan: My husband loves reading your editorials in Mothering every month.
loca: Welcome, Peggy.  That's pretty cool.
rachdoll: I didn't realize Mothering ever existed without you owning it.  :-)
birthing_baby: Hi Peggy! I love Mothering Magazine! I give it to all my students. (I'm a Bradley teacher in CA)
PeggyO: The mag was started by Addie Eavenson. Its' grown so much and I've tried to figure it out as I've gone along. I'm very happy with the magazine and the website. When I bought the mag in 1980 we had a circulation of 3000. Now 250,000 read each copy. We're getting these great ideas out to more families.
HeatherE: Oh Peggy, I met you at an lll conference in Connecticut a few years back.  I totally bawled- you are such an inspitation for me as a mother and a doula...
Ms._Mom: Was Marion Cohen the original owner?
Webmama_Tina: sorry ladies, i crashed...i'm back
Webmama_Tina: on my husbands zippier computer
PeggyO: I often feel unworthy of this adulation because I'm just a mom like you all trying to figure out things everyday. But, I do have this history now and so much to share for years of my own experience as well as  hearing the stories of other mothers.
Webmama_Tina: i mean i'm now on my dh's computer, so that shouldn't happen again
Webmama_Tina: ok....so where were we?
mzleslie: I buy this magazine subscription for all my friends who are new mommies. It's the only one I truly recommend!
Arduinna: I just logged in have we talked about UC yet?
loca: Tina, Peggy is giving us magazine history. :)
Arduinna: oh ok
Webmama_Tina: please hold you questions
Webmama_Tina: i am getting my list
mommytocali: I only learned of Mothering.com a few days ago....haven't seen/read the mag yet...but I am so happy I found so many others out there like me :)
PeggyO: Adeline Eavenson was the original owner. She founded Mothering in 1976 in Ridway, Colorado and she lives near there in Paonia now. Marion Cohen was one of the first poets we published. She still lives in Cleveland, but we have not published her work in awhile. Like me, her kids are grown.
aebarone: Sorry, did you say we could post our question for Peggy to you?
Webmama_Tina: let me catch up here, please be patient...beckie and i both crashed
Webmama_Tina: i'm back now and i'm working frantically to catch up...getting my list
Webmama_Tina: please be patient ladies....this is our first time doing this with such a large crowd and i promise it will get better as we get the hang of it
birthing_baby: Peggy, In your editorial, Wake Up" (a while back now) you stated something to the effect of ..We as childbirth educators have failed by offering natural childbirth as just another choice instead of the best choice..."
Ms._Mom: I met Marion Cohen 10 years ago at a Pregnancy and Infant Loss conference, she moved me deeply - that's how I found Mothering. Mamadosa: Peggy, really, you are such an inspiration. Your words and dedication to the magazine, your books, have all been so encouraging. It is so hard to live in mainstream society today without getting sucked in. I feel like I am constantly met with resistence. I
Webmama_Tina: ok this is what i have right now.....onekid02 is our first person in line for a question
onekid02: I love your magazine. Do you have any advice on parenting an only child? Do you see any issues to be concerned and aware of as our little babies grow ?
HeatherE: how can i get in line for a question?
birthing_baby: I just wanted to comment (meant to write in) that we (Bradley teachers) do take a stand that natural birth is best (in absence of serious complication)
Webmama_Tina: LADIES PLEASE GIVE THE FLOOR TO PEGGY AND WHOEVER'S TURN IT IS TO ASK
onekid02: I just submitted my question
Webmama_Tina: one question at a time and we can do this well
Webmama_Tina: please keep all converstation to PM now
Webmama_Tina: double click a person's name to PM them (private message) loca: I would like to know how we get on this questions list, please.
auburn: Webmama_Tina  Webmama_Tina Hi is the general chat over? first time in chat room, got an email that there'd be a chat
PeggyO: I try not to buy into these stereotypes. All families have strengths and weaknesses. I think the main issue would not to give your child the impression he or she is the center of the universe -- your universe, of course -- but being with other children helps, relatives and just being careful not to make  your child too precious. We have to watch that no matter how many children we have.
Jay_Gordon,_MD: Hi Peggy (and everyone)
housepoet: ANY CHAT QUESTIONS DOUBLE CLICK TINA'S NAME ON THE RIGHT SIDE AND ASK HER, DO NOT ASK DIRECTLY IN THE CHAT
Webmama_Tina: please PM me if you have a question for peggy...i'm keeping a list and will tell you who you after
PeggyO: Jay, Hi, good to see/read you.
be11ydancer: Cool!!!
Webmama_Tina: but be patient, i'm getting bombarded her
Webmama_Tina: HEY DR JAY!!!
Webmama_Tina: good to see you
onekid02: Thanks
Jay_Gordon,_MD: Hi Tina
HeatherE: Webmama_Tina  Webmama_Tina  Webmama_Tina  Webmama_Tina  Webmama_Tina  Webmama_Tina  Webmama_Tina  Webmama_Tina  Webmama_Tina I'd like to ask a question.
Webmama_Tina: LADIES....JUST A REMINDER...THE FLOOR IS ONLY FOR PEGGY AND THE PERSON WITH THE CURRENT QUESTION
Webmama_Tina: heather, double click in the list at right
Webmama_Tina: so it won't go to the main chat....
onekid02: I am considering the Montessori school for my only child, will that make her feel more isolated?
Webmama_Tina: it is currently onekids turn...so only her and peggy should be talking
onekid02: Do you have any resources or books that you recommend on raising an only??
PeggyO: I don't think any form of education in itself would make a child feel isolated. Feeling isolated has more to do with lack of community. If your child makes friends and likes the community of her school and you do, then she will probably feel less isolated. If she has friends in other schools, she can see them after school and on weekends anyway.
PeggyO: I can't think of one book now, but email kimbers@mothering.com and she can check out our library for you.
onekid02: thank you, next person tina, thanks again
Webmama_Tina: no need to thank me in PM.....it just makes things more hectic
Webmama_Tina: :)
Webmama_Tina: ok mona is next
PeggyO: Sorry to confuse, I'm changing my color.
PeggyO: I'm ready for another question, Tina.
mona: from what i understand, MDC started as a site for NFL ideals. How do you feel now that MDC has so many parrents who do not uphold NFL ideals, and are infact so conservative that they are driving out those who practice NFL>
mona: This is in reference to the forum....  :)
Webmama_Tina: ok next is....
Webmama_Tina: sagira
loca: Mona's question wasn't answered, yet, Tina.
MamaMia: what about Mona's question?
mona: oh sorry, i though you told me i was after one child
mona: i mean onekid  lol
sheil: what does NFL stand for?
Webmama_Tina: just a heads up ladies....i will reset the chat for next time so that we don't have to see the enters/exits everytime
housepoet: natural family living
Webmama_Tina: i know its getting kinda annnoying in a busy chat like this...so it will be different next time
Webmama_Tina: oh i'm sorry....i thought mona had asked....mona and THEN sagira
simonee: Peggy I love your mag. Thanx for changing my life. Without you, my children's lives wouldn't have been as relaxed
Webmama_Tina: we'll get this yet
Webmama_Tina: thanks everyone for being so patient :)
loca: Is Peggy aware she was asked a question above?
Webmama_Tina: JUST A REMINDER....PLEASE KEEP ALL CONVERSATION TO PM...double click on a persons name in the user list to the right
Webmama_Tina: peggy?
Webmama_Tina: i hope she's not crashed
PeggyO: Well, now, that's a loaded question. I do want the site and the board to uphold the ideals of NFL. It's a fine line between exposing people to new ideas in a safe environment and keeping the safe environment for our own support. It's an issue that has come up over and over during the years. I remember in when I was first in LLL in the 70s and I wondered if the meetings were for the moms who were nursing the toddlers and badly needed the support or for the new moms who were freaked out about toddler nursing, but needed to be exposed to it. So, I hope we can strike that balance on the boards, but it is hard as we have grown to have a totally compatible community on the site or the mag. We tend to think that the readers are all like us, but I find them to be very diverse and range from new-agers" to "right-wingers." So, yes, I do want to uphold ideals, but I also want to welcome new people. I like to take a mother where she is as I know with expousure to ideas that really work, she will change."
Webmama_Tina: ah there she is
Webmama_Tina: lol
Webmama_Tina: she was busy typing
KittyKat77: Hello
nym: wow lots of people here
rafael: NFL?
rachdoll: Natural Family Living
momatheart23: Hi All !
darsy67: It took me a while to figure out where to type
Bestbirths: Peggy-How would you deal with a disabled teenage boy (14) who doesn't bathe and refuses to go to the dentist?
mona: yes, i like that people can learn from MDC, and that we are diverse. But there are so many mainstream site available, and so few that really cater to those of us who embrace NFL. it is jsut difficult. Thanks
mraven721: Please, this is not the time to chat. Just read tilli it's your turn.
birthing_baby: Webmama_Tina  Webmama_Tina How do I get in line?
Bestbirths: OH I am sorry! I meant that to go to tina and wait in line
Webmama_Tina: please remember ladies that the floor is only for PEGGY and the person who's turn it is to ask a question
Webmama_Tina: PM ME by double clicking my name to put your name in line to ask a question
Webmama_Tina: lordy i'm getting more help for the next chat, LOL...thanks for being patient!
wemoon: Webmama_Tina  Webmama_Tina I'm trying to PM you, but when I double click it just puts your name in the post twice
PeggyO: When the mag started in 1976 there was no name for these ideas. They came out of the hippie community, the back to the landers of the 60s and the return to natural movement in the country in general. So, there was no name for it. We started to call the magazine, the magazine of natural family living in the 80s to tell people more what it was about, and then the term attachment parenting became popular in the 90s. But it's not a dogma, not about rules, it's about finding your own way, finding what is natural for you and respecting the unique biological needs of your child.
purpsurfer: I picked up my first mothering mag yesterday. can't put it down
mona: but it does attempt to puport ideals, right? i guess i'm surprised that it has changes so radically over the years.
Webmama_Tina: PLEASE KEEP CONVERSATION TO PM
Webmama_Tina: the floor is only for peggy and the person who's turn it currently is to ask a question...thanks!!!
mona: thank you peggy for responding to my question. next person can go
Webmama_Tina: ok, sagira's turn
PeggyO: I got my inspiration early on from reading about traditional societies. Margaret Mead studied traditional tribes and found that the violent tribes witheld touch in infancy and that healthy tribes held their babies in arms and responded to their needs immediately.
sagira: I haven't vaccinated my little son yet.  I'm not even sure I will.  He's 13 months now.  Peggy, if you were having a child this year, would you selectively vaccinate, fully vaccinate or not vaccinate at all?
Webmama_Tina: LADIES...please go ahead and go when its your turn...i'm letting people know who they are after, so you should know already...that is tremendously helpful if you just wait your turn and then go when the person you are after is done...thanks!
Webmama_Tina: i'm still writing furiously ...so bear with me...this is slowly getting sorted out...thanks! :)
Webmama_Tina: and i just want to remind everyone that this is the first ever mothering sponsored chat so we didn't really know what to expect as far as traffic and whatnot...it WILL improve and be less chaotic as we work out the details...y'all are being so patient, thankyou tons!!!
Webmama_Tina: i will definitely be changing that feature so we won't get all these log in/out notices for next time....too crazy for me to do it now
Cazzi: Hi Peggy. My question is how handle being over our neighbor's house (whom we are best friends with and see each other/dine together 3-4 evening a week) when they have different house rules?
Webmama_Tina: also.....just a little notice....click on the first button with the color squares to change your font color
adriannewe: Am I in the right place?  The Peggy chatroom?
PeggyO: Wow, now I'll have to come out of the closet. If I were having a child this year, I would not vaccinate. I have too many questions about the ingredients in the vaccines and I am not convinced of their long-term safety. I basically am more afraid of the vaccines than of the diseases they protect against. And, I believe that the  condition of the host" is more imporant in fighting off disease, that is the health of your child, that interventions to protect against something that may occur in the future."
housepoet: CAZZI WAIT YOUR TURN
Webmama_Tina: yes adrianne, please hold your questions
Cazzi: Oh gosh I'm SO SORRY, didn'tr mean to press enter!!
Webmama_Tina: woops, sorry cazzi, it's sagira's turn right now...thanks for understanding!
mommytocali: Hi peggy, My dd is 16 months old. I co-sleep with her in her room, while DH sleeps in our room. For many reasons having a family bed with all 3 of us just doesn't work. For the most part DH has come around to most of my idea's of how I want to parent, but
sagira: So am I.  I'm more afraid of the vaccines and their ingredients than the diseases.  I wanted to tell you how tremendously helpful your magazine and books have been to us and I'm sure many people on this chat.  Thank you for providing wonderful support
PeggyO: What is most important, however, is not what I say, but what you feel in your gut. What are your most afraid of? Trust that. You are the only one who knows what is best for your child. You are the only one who will live with your decision. And, know that your decision will never feel final until your child is older. You may have to bear being in a state of pardox for awhile.
Darcelle: this room in confusing
sagira: to us moms who are going against the norm.  We really appreciate it :)
Darcelle: sagria, i have a question for you if i could
clara: on the same topic of vaccines, can you recommend some books to help make informed decisions?
DaryLLL: Hi?
Electra375: okay who is in the mothering mag chat and what is going on in here?
DaryLLL: Electra, all I see is you.
CelticAngel: All questions need to be in PM please to Tina or myself
shelbysilva: I loved the book... Vaccinations, A Thoughtful Parents Guide, by Aviva Jill Romm
jeca: I think I'm lost.
Webmama_Tina: PLEASE KEEP SIDE CONVERSATIONS/QUESTIONS TO PM....
PeggyO: I hear the but... It's hard when our DHs aren't totally compatible with our ideas and yet it is often us as women and moms who teach them how it really is in this new world of natural parenting. It's not ideal that you do not sleep with your husband, but many couples work it out this way in the early months and years. Just make time for your relationship with him in some way, although it's hard to do. Try to find 2 hours a week for a nice, intimate dinner with your husband. It's important not to set your love aside.
Webmama_Tina: PLEASE PM CELTIC ANGEL IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS....

 

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