1st Mothering Magazine Sponsored Chat with Peggy O'Mara
www.mothering.com
10/12/04:
Page 2:
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Webmama_Tina: IF YOU WANT TO GET IN LINE TO ASK
PEGGY A QUESTION, PLEASE PM ME
mommytoluc: how do you do that?
Webmama_Tina: double click my name in the list
on right
CelticAngel: Double click Tina's name in the
list
mommytoluc: never mind
mommytoluc: tnk
Roses: Peggy, Thank you for all the
hardwork you do. My question is this. Back in Jan. I started a
chapter of ICAN (International C-section Awareness Network)
since then we haven't had many women join. Do you have any
suggestions how we can reach women who've had
Webmama_Tina: thankyou for understanding! this
is a very busy chat and we need to keep things rolling without
getting too crazy
Roses: c-sections? The rate is atleast
25%, we know they are out there.
mommytocali: thanks Peggy, my question was
going to be how do I help him deal with all these horror stories
about co-sleeping, and extended nursing he gets from people on a
daily basis
PeggyO: Yes, Aviva Jill
Romm's book is good and Stephanie Cave's book What Your Doctor
Didn't tell you about Vaccines, or something like that. We are
working on an update of our Vacc book, but it's taking forever.
Webmama_Tina: so the floor is only for PEGGY
and whoever's turn it is to ask a question
HeatherE: i am a doula, and am getting
tired of all the...b.s. lots of inductions and meds and
c-sections, even though i put so much time into education. I
feel powerless, and am not sure what to do. What do you think
about doulas in the hospital setting?
Darcelle: i would like to have a doula
TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES EDITED FOR EASE OF READING
PeggyO: Ok, last question
was how to get DH to love co-sleeping. Find him a friend. Get
him to a conference or a meeting or somewhere he will meet at
least one other cool man who co-sleeps. Put books in the
bathroom. Ask him to trust you.
CelticAngel: especially if it's another place
that is using Java for something
mommytocali: thanks so much for going back to
my question Peggy
Webmama_Tina: thanks celticangel! good info to
know ladies!
PeggyO: Tina, can you
catch us up? What was the last question?
PeggyO: You're welcome,
mommytocali
SusieKoy: my dh co-sleeps we are in CA
PeggyO: There you go. Get
on the boards. Find a friend in your area.
Webmama_Tina: oh lordy heck if i know... but it
was heathere and i think she had to leave
Webmama_Tina: after heathere is housepoet
PeggyO: Ok, just go to
the next one.
Webmama_Tina: ok housepoet, you're on!
be11ydancer: You PM'd me that I'm after Roses.
PeggyO: Love that name,
housepoet. Me too1
Webmama_Tina: roses hasn't gone yet
be11ydancer: o.k.
housepoet: me me me!
housepoet: Hello Peggy, I wanted to ask how
do you promote breastfeeding in your own personal life?
Roses: Whose next?
ruerose: Are there tech probs again?
housepoet: she's most likely typing a
response
PeggyO: I start
conversations with pregnant women or work it into the
conversation with others. I don't do this consciously, but it
comes up and I go for it. I talk about the obstacles to
breastfeeding in our society, did you know? Did you know that
women are
PeggyO: discouraged from
breastfeeding in public? I try to tell people before they are
personally invested in a pregnancy or birth or with a relative
who is.
PeggyO: I also have been
known to put nipples on magazine covers to freak people
out...LOL
housepoet: splendid, I'm wondering if MD has
any plans to put more activism in the Mag, get more women
involved in nurse outs around the globe and encourage other mags
to stop taking formula money and stop running their ads as well.
doulamomof4: lol
birthing_baby: :D
housepoet: hahah
wendy1221: lol
housepoet: There was such a HUGE uproar
about that, I couldn't believe it!
housepoet: what do you think that we as a
society can do to lessen the stigma attached with bfing in
public?
PeggyO:
Oh, I'd love to
encourage that kind of activism. I get mixed messages from
readers about the activism content. Some say, no more. We're
overwhelmed already. We want articles about day to day life,
positive, inspiring articles. I hope we do both. But, how
motherofcreation: Blessed Love One and All
PeggyO:
can we stop these
formula companies? They have undermined the successes made by
breastfeeding advocates time and again. Did you know that
formula was not advertised to parents until the 1980s. Before
then it was just advertised to doctors. Breastfeeding
embalene_: hi all
PeggyO:
rates were the
highest ever in the 80s but have still not met the goals of
Healthy People 2010, 75% initiation. Less than 50% of our babies
are being exclusively fed breastmilk in the early weeks. So, yes,
bring on the breastfeeding activism. Many were very
Webmama_Tina: oh my goodness, i caught up, lol
PeggyO: disillusioned by
the erosion of the Breastfeeding Awareness Campaign by the
formula companies.
Webmama_Tina: just a reminder ladies, the floor
is for peggy and whoever's turn it is to ask a question
Webmama_Tina: right now it is housepoet's turn
housepoet: to answer your question on how to
stop them....research research research! I figure that in my
life time we will see anti formual ads like the anti smoking ads
I think that will happen
PeggyO: Sorry, but my
computer will only let me talk so much before I return.
housepoet: it's ok!
Webmama_Tina: if you want to get on the list to
ask a question, just PM me by double clicking my name in the
user list at right
simonee: Webmama_Tina can I ask a
question?
housepoet: I think that people were
disillusioned by the ads as well, but the formula companies had
a say in how the ads were stated
Webmama_Tina: oh sorry peggy, i forgot
reappoint you as admin...that will take off that feature
housepoet: they didn't want it to reflect
badly on formula
Webmama_Tina: i'll reset you to permanent admin
once the chat is over
juicylucy: Hi
juicylucy: where is everyone?
PeggyO:
Yes,
breastfeeding is a healthcare issue like smoking and asbestos.
The research has been done, over and over again. The reason
breastfeeding is not increasing is politics, the politics of
formula and the fact that there is much more money available to
lobby for formula than for breastfeeding.
housepoet: I agree
housepoet: but look at smoking and how much
money tobacco companies made as well
Webmama_Tina: ladies, the list for questions is
looooooooooooong right now...just to warn ya....
Webmama_Tina: and peggy WILL be back another
week
housepoet: alright I'll stop now, though
motherofcreation: yes that is true in regards to
lobbying
Webmama_Tina: so don't fret, you'll get many
other opportunities to ask your questions
PeggyO: I agree that the
ads raised. I so badly want an investigative piece on what
really happened behind the scenes to the Breastfeeding Awareness
Campaign.
housepoet: thank you Peggy, I hope to see
continued pro-bfing and activism!
PeggyO: I'm glad to hear
you want more activism. Me too.
Roses: Peggy. Thank you for all your
hard work! I started a local chapter of ICAN (Int'l C-section
Awareness Network) back in Jan. So far we haven't been able to
reach alot of women. Do you have any suggestions for us? The
c-section rate is 25% (at least) so we
Webmama_Tina: ok the floor is now roses'
Roses: know that women are out there.
motherofcreation: roses: are there states in which
c-sections are at higher rates than others?
Roses: Yes and over 250 hospitals are
DENYING women vbacs.
CelticAngel: Please keep the floor only for
Peggy and Roses right now
Roses:
www.ican-online.org
CelticAngel: if you want to ask Roses a
question do it in PM :)
motherofcreation: oh, okay
housepoet: stirringleaf rocks!
housepoet: oops
PeggyO:
This is a big
question right now. In the 70s when I started, women were
educated by the Feminist Movement and the back to nature
movement and right now women don't know they don't have all the
facts. I like the idea of Birth Networks like in Santa Cruz and
groups to support midwives. Are you getting referrals from
practitioners or could you do open forums in your community on
the issues. Education.
PeggyO: The cesarean rate
nationwide is 26.%. Some states have over 30%.
Webmama_Tina: once again ladies, you may want
to join the mommychats egroup at
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mommychats/
so you can get chat reminders emailed to you
Roses: I am in Ann Arbor, MI. We have a
hard time finding
Roses: vbac positive providers
PeggyO:
How do we raise
awareness of the issues when women are so enamored of choice as
the only criteria.
Webmama_Tina: also, please take the time to
click on the banners at top and bottom of the chat...they will
open in a new page....these are usually all WAHM businesses and
a good cause to support!
PeggyO: And, go to the
mothering boards for sharing ideas on birth activism.
Midwesternmomma: I was lucky to find a caregiver
that is totally in love with vbac.
Webmama_Tina: again,
thank you ladies for being
so patient with us...things will improve as time goes on and we
get the hang of these chats with such wonderfully large crowds.
:)
Roses: Thank you, I will. I also love
the recipes you share with us.
SusieKoy: How many of those do you think
are necessary? Isn't there a time that they are necessary?
Webmama_Tina: please hold your questions til it
is your turn
CelticAngel: Please don't ask questions in the
room unless it's your turn.
Webmama_Tina: we have a looooooooooooong list
of ladies waiting for their turns
Webmama_Tina: if roses question is answered,
bellydancer is next
be11ydancer: Peggy - I'm planning on cert'ing
to become a doula this spring. I'm confused as to which
organization is best and most fits the midwifery model of care.
What are your thoughts on the various doula organizations? Which
one do you think is best for this?
PeggyO:
VBAC providers
are getting scarce nationwide and birth centers are closing.
This is due to malpractice insurance going up and fears of
litigation, But, in fact, malpractice costs are less than 1% of
healthcare costs.
Webmama_Tina: sorry to be so strict, but some
of these ladies have been waiting a long time to ask their
questions
Webmama_Tina: :)
SusieKoy: Mal Practice is a very hard one
to prove since the records are changed before written
PeggyO: I like DONA and
ALACE. These are the ones I am most familiar with and both are
signers to the Mother Friendly Childbirth Initiative so they do
support the midwifery model. I'm sorry if I've forgotten
someone.
PeggyO:
Next question./
Webmama_Tina: also want to let people know that
mothering will be in this chat room every wednesday, 12pm
pacific, 1pm mountain, 2pm central, 3pm eastern....and peggy
WILL be back again! :)
be11ydancer: Thanks! Those were the two I was
thinking of most!
Webmama_Tina: aerbarone is next
Webmama_Tina: woops
PeggyO:
How many people
are online with us, Tina?
Webmama_Tina: well then annakiss is next
Webmama_Tina: hmmm...lemme count
PeggyO:
If you'd like, we
can make these chats issue related or theme related now that
we're going to be doing them more regularly.
aebarone: Immediately after giving birth I
was given an MMR shot without my OK. My daughter is vaccine-free
and I'm worried that the doctor's/hospital's 'mistake' may have
inadvertently harmed my exclusively breast fed baby. When I asked
my doc about this, she told me
MamaDaednu: Love the theme idea
annakiss: that's me!
annakiss: oops.
NatureMamaOR: that sounds like a good idea
Peggy :)
aebarone: that ths was done routinely
(cause for worry!) and that I have nothing to worry about. It's
been 10 months now and I haven't been able to locate any
information on this. When I was given the shot, I had exp'd a
sign. amount of blood loss after 17+ hours of
PeggyO:
You can get
bloodwork done to test the measles titers in her blood. These
are high in some autistic kids. How old is your child? This is
another good question for Phil Incao, MD or one of our vaccine
experts on the site.
aebarone: she's 10 months old.
Webmama_Tina: sorry, had another computer
problem...i'm back
PeggyO: You need a
sympathetic doctor's opinion. Stephanie Cave, Phil Incao. They
can look at the whole picture. Sherri Tenpenny on the site.
Jeanne Ohm on he site. All can offer more guidance.
Webmama_Tina: wow, 61 people in here!
aebarone: I've emailed this question to
Sherri Tenpenny on your site. Hopefully, she'll be able to
respond. I love what you're doing for women and families....
Webmama_Tina:
if anyone wants to volunteer to help out with future
chats, please email me
PeggyO: It's just that I
would want to ask you lots of questions about what happened and
how your child is now and we can't do taht here. Maybe you can
email her directly. Her email is tuza@aol.com
Webmama_Tina: as this chat has proven, i
definitely am going to need a team of people to help out in the
future
MamaDaednu: what kind of help do you need
webmama?
aebarone: thanks, peggy. I'll email her
directly.
Webmama_Tina: this would be people to act as
admin to help field questions and just remind people of the
rules as new people enter...that sort of thing
PeggyO:
next question.
annakiss: I'm now pregnant with my second
child. I've been having a lot of morning sickness and have
basically neglected my life as a SAHM to fight the nausea 24/7.
I am worried about my two year old son. At the moment, my only
priority is to be nice to him.
Webmama_Tina: i had 2 people to help me today
but one crashed and then had to go anyway....celticangel has
been a godsend though! :)
MamaDaednu: Housepoet, I could email her, but
then not everyone would get to hear the answer too.
annakiss: I guess I'm just interested in
reassurance that I'm not permanently damaging my son even though
we're struggling through this by watching lots of television,
etc. I know he needs to go outside. I just feel like poo most of
the time.
Webmama_Tina: please email me if you want to
help out with future chats and let me
know too if you'd like to host your own chat...we are always
looking for more ideas
PeggyO:
Morning sickness
is tough. Are you getting the help you need for that? And, do
you have a friend or relative or teen in the neighborhood who
can come over and help you during the week until you get through
this. You need help? Do you have any?
annakiss: I have my husband, who is in a
new PhD program... I have a support network here of NFL/AP
mamas, but I'm not close with any of them and feel that nagging
of this culture's mentality not to ask for help...
Webmama_Tina: don't forget to join the egroup:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mommychats/ to get reminder emails
about upcoming chats and mommychats' improvements
PeggyO:
Be gentle on
yourself. You are the priority right now and a little television
in tough times won't hurt him. I give a talk called Love is a
Necklace of Moments. Some are not shiney, but it's ok because
most are.
Webmama_Tina: you can click on links in this
chat window...they will open in a new window
annakiss: thank you.
Webmama_Tina: also, click on the ad banners at
top and bottom of the chat...these are mostly WAHMs that
appreciate your business!
Webmama_Tina: cazzi is after annakiss
Cazzi: Hi Peggy, is regarding
discipline
differences...How do you handle being with other...
PeggyO: See if you can
offer a trade. You come over and clean my house before I die and
I'll make a dinner for you next month or make something else or
do something else. Try a trade so you won't feel guilty asking
for hellp and then try to learn not to be.
Webmama_Tina: the banners will open the sites
in a new window as well...so you won't lose where you are in the
chat room
annakiss: thanks!
Cazzi: parents who have different
parenting styles then you do. For example, our friends feed their
kids lots of junk food I don't like my son to eat...
Webmama_Tina: friendly reminder....please only
ask peggy one question when its your turn...this way we can keep
things rolling and have as many people get their turn as
possible :)
Cazzi: and they allow their kids to
wrestle and we don't. We are next door neighbors and spend lots
of time together and dine together often. How do I handle the
differences while still respecting their parenting styles?
sarahariz: Tina-how do we get a turn to ask
Peggy a question?
PeggyO:
Ah, another tough
question. Depends on the age of the kids. When they are under 5,
we have to protect them from things in society that hurt them,
but not at the expense of making them feel like a freak. My kids
were only given candy once a week and we made such a big deal of
it, that they started buying candy in vending machines at the
swimming pool and hiding it in bags under their beds. So, make
your values in your family, try to avoid bad food when you can,
but don't let it overpower your social life. Kids can handle a
little diversion from the natural life and in adulthood they
return to those values even though they experiment when they are
teens.
Cazzi: My son is 3 and understandably
has trouble with , No you can't eat a bag of fruit snacks, but
they can.
Cazzi: And they can wrestle, but you
can't. Do I just let me rules go while in their home?
WeeHands: hello everyone!
CelticAngel: Please if you have question for
Peggy, PM Tina with it.
PeggyO:
Wow, next door
neighbors, that's harder. Did you see our recent article on Two
Refrigerators. It was a funny look at how a family handles
this. I think you're always striking a balance. What do you need
to hold onto, what not. Regarding wrestling, my sons always
wrestled as kids and learned how to do it with discretion and
not hurt one another. Their dad taught them how to do this
without hurting one another (most of the time) and they were
gentle with others. My son has grown up to be a ju jitsu
instructor.
Webmama_Tina: please remember to PM me if you
want in line to ask a question....however be warned that the
list is looooooooooooooong, so there's no way we'll get to
everyone today
CelticAngel: all chatting in the room needs to
be kept to Peggy and the person who's turn it is
PeggyO:
You could relax
the rules when you're there. Things are different at other
people's house, at granma's house, e.g. Can you talk about it
with your friends and come up with some group rules."
Webmama_Tina: woops, redundant, LOL
CelticAngel: ;)
Webmama_Tina: *laughter*
Cazzi: I'll be sure to read that
article! Sounds good, thank you very much.
Webmama_Tina: shelbysilva is next
Webmama_Tina: woops she seems to be gone
Webmama_Tina: then mamamia's turn
PeggyO:
Do you realize
that this chat is just like parenting. Totally out of control!
Webmama_Tina: lol peggy
Webmama_Tina: heehee...well it will get better.
:)
rafael: i dont think mammia is here
either
PeggyO:
Taht'
PeggyO: That's the point.
It's fine this way. Like real life.
Webmama_Tina: oh good, lol
NatureMamaOR: I used to be an admin at ovusoft
and am passing along my advice on expert chats" to webmama_tina
;) hopefully they'll help"
Webmama_Tina: so mammamia's gone too? i guess i
should scroll, lol
Webmama_Tina: ok then....bestbirths...you're
on!
Bestbirths: My 14 year old son is disabled
with chemical sensitivity. He doesn't bathe and has put off
going to the dentist for his four fillings for a year now. Any
suggestions on older kids not taking care of themselves? what
does a mom do?
Webmama_Tina: well that's moving us along
nicely, lol
poeticleah: Greetings everyone :)
CelticAngel: all chatting in the room needs to
be kept to Peggy and the person who's turn it is
Webmama_Tina: hey ladies, there is a
babywearing chat happening in just a few hours, for those
interested
Webmama_Tina: but this may be enough for one
day for some of y'all, LOL!
mslaura: hi, I was told that we're having
a chat on EC here. Am I in the wrong place?
Webmama_Tina: while peggy gathers her
thoughts....
PeggyO: You know, I have
this same question. I figure that they really don't brush their
teeth until they start kissing. That's the way it was with my
feral" son. Is his lack of bathing related to his chemical
sensitivities? My son hates creams on his skin. Do you have a
biological dentist in your area. He's make sure he doesn't put
anything in his mouth that he's sensitive to. Could these two be
related to things he's sensitive to that you don't know.
Otherwise, there's only so much you can do."
Webmama_Tina: EC?
Webmama_Tina: lets take this to PM...
MamaMia: Peggy, I've loved the articles
about conflict resolution. I'm sad the same communication ideas
aren't used by the admin of the web boards. It's very Don't
question me" and "because I said so". Is this the way of the
Mothering I know and love?"
Webmama_Tina: oh mamamia's back
CelticAngel: Tina, PM me
Bestbirths: Yes, it is partially related to
his sensitivity to water. We do have mercury free dentist, but
he doesn't want to go because it will still ake him sicker.
Thanks Peggy!
Webmama_Tina: by the way, for those that missed
me saying this before...i will be changing the settings next
time so that we don't get all the annoying notices of people
signing in and out
Bestbirths: make him sicker. I meant. So, you
take a We do everything we can, and leave the rest up to them"
attitude with older kids?"
PeggyO: It's hard to keep
order on the boards with so many members and not appear
arbitrary at times. I don't know the specifics of which you
speak, but I rely on and trust our Board Administrator's good
judgment.
MamaMia: I understand the appearance of
arbitrariness on a board this size, but my problem is with
authoritarianism.
PeggyO: Regarding your
sensitive son, again, I'm not sure I can comment more without
more info, but it sounds like you are doing the right things.
Early teens years can be harder. They get nicer!
MamaMia: it doesn't reflect the nfl
principles of equalitarianism and gentle discipline""
PeggyO: I don't like
authoritarianism either (can't quite spell it either).
PeggyO: Next question.
Webmama_Tina: sorry, i'm in PMland again...did
mamamia get her question answered?
Bestbirths: TEE HEE. Thanks again Peggy!
Webmama_Tina: she was in line but i skipped her
cuz she wasn't there...but she just had to reboot
Webmama_Tina: so i said she could go after
bestbirths
CelticAngel: I think she did...
Webmama_Tina: ok then next is mamadosa if
mamamia is done
PeggyO:
I'm not sure. She
was making more of a statment.
CelticAngel: Yeah she did
Webmama_Tina: mamamia? did you have a question?
i missed the whole conversation...was in PMland
Webmama_Tina: maybe she crashed again...lets
move on to mamadosa
Webmama_Tina: mamadosa? you there?
chavamom: Just a heads up - The link that I
got in my e-mail didn't work.
Mamadosa: Peggy, there is so much I want to
contribute
chavamom: I got an 'unknown URL' message
Webmama_Tina: hmmmm
DaryLLL: I want to hear the answer to
mamamia's question!
Webmama_Tina: sorry, maybe i should scroll up,
i missed the question
MamaMia: Sorry the question was implied. It
was: why is such autoritarian behavior supported?
Webmama_Tina: ah there you are
PeggyO:
Are we on MamaMia
or Mamadosa?
Webmama_Tina: well i thought mamamia was done,
but we can finish her an then move to mamadosa
Webmama_Tina: i don't want to roll over anyone
:)
Webmama_Tina: peggy might be typing a response
Mamadosa: toward change for the world my
children will grow up in. Can you tell me what you think is the
most important place to start to enact change (even within the
family) with NFL in mind, and do you have any suggestions or
ideas
PeggyO:
I'm sorry,
MamaMia, but your question is baiting. I don't agree with your
opinion that the boards are authoritarian. Do you want to use
this chat to continue to make your point that you do?
DaryLLL: ack, mamamia isn't done!
CelticAngel: I think we should focus on
parenting questions and not on who the forum is run...
CelticAngel: how*
housepoet: agreed
MamaMia: No. I don't
believe that
disagreement and baiting are the same thing. It is something
that has baffled me for a long time. sorry if it clouds the
shiny day
wemoon: well might as well delete my
place then because my question was on forum politics as well
Webmama_Tina: oh very good point...wish i had
scrolled up before speaking, lol...i had no idea what the
question was
Webmama_Tina: :)
Mamadosa: about where to start. There is so
much I want to do as a SAHM, I just need a jumping off place
Webmama_Tina: peggy seems to be handling things
fine though....
PeggyO:
Mamadosa: Start
with yourself. Disarm your own inner environment. Learn to love
yourself. Trust your child. Reach out to others and your
community when you can, but it's more than enough to raise an
emotionally healthy child.
PeggyO: We need to end
now. I have to go to meetings in the office and this is a two
hour chat. I know there are a lot of unanswered questions. We'll
do this again and please feel free to email me peggyo@mothering.com
Webmama_Tina: woops guess that's it then,
ladies
chavamom: I thought the chat started at 1
EST
Webmama_Tina: please remember to join the
egroup
Webmama_Tina: link is above
Mamadosa: Wow, thank you Peggy
Ammawell: Thank you to everyone who worked
hard and/or was patient in this debut today!
annakiss: it did. it's now 3:00
Webmama_Tina: thankyou so much for your
patience!
Mamadosa: I appreciate you.
Webmama_Tina: come back again next week, wed
Webmama_Tina: different time...
CelticAngel: We'll get things ironed out for
the next one, folks. :)
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