|
12:21:08 |
Webmama_Tina |
today we have our wonderful peggy o'mara with us again! |
|
12:21:24 |
Webmama_Tina |
i'm sure we all know peggy, but just in case there's
someone that doesn't....peggy will you please introduce
yourself? :) |
|
12:21:44 |
Webmama_Tina |
and don't mind me as i post welcomes for newcomers....
:) |
|
12:22:08 |
Webmama_Tina |
celtic_angel will be our queue-keeper today as soon as
she breaks up a fight between her twins...lol |
|
12:22:12 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
Thank you, Tina. It's great to be here. A little hot and
bothered today. I went from cool weather a week ago to
soooo hot. But the plants are blooming and I'm crazy
watering everything. |
|
12:22:21 |
Webmama_Tina |
so go ahead and throw out your question marks and i'll
keep track for her til she gets back |
|
12:22:25 |
skimonami3 |
? |
|
12:22:34 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
I'm the mother of four adult children and have been the
editor and publisher of mothering for 25 years. |
|
12:22:47 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
I'm eager to hear your questions and concerns. |
|
12:23:13 |
maemery |
? |
|
12:23:28 |
heids70 |
? |
|
12:23:30 |
sweetpea |
? |
|
12:23:31 |
Webmama_Tina |
ok looks like skimonami3 is first |
|
12:23:34 |
skimonami3 |
I have been threatened by my in-laws about not
immunizing my daughter anymore,,,everyone thinks I am
nuts...I am sure this is a common question,,,but how do
i deal with this? |
|
12:23:38 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
We've had our fabulous website, mothering.com since 1995
and it has really grown thanks to all of you. |
|
12:23:58 |
skimonami3 |
I have done plenty of personal research on both
sides,,,no one will listen to me |
|
12:24:10 |
Webmama_Tina |
Upcoming chatters: maemery heids70 sweetpea |
|
12:24:19 |
Webmama_Tina |
right now its skimonami3 |
|
12:24:36 |
DODAD |
....add to Peggy's inro...and one of the only sentient
publishers in the universe I might ad...also my
hero...you are saving us from ourselves Peggy...and we
are so much better for it. THANKS! |
|
12:24:48 |
Webmama_Tina |
lol |
|
12:24:55 |
Webmama_Tina |
Friendly Reminder: Please do not post unless it is your
turn to ask a question. If you have a question, please
post a single ?" and you'll be added to the queue. Have
your question ready when your name is called. THANKYOU!
:)" |
|
12:24:59 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
That is a common question and a hard one. It seems to me
that you have to keep these decisions as well as
long-term nursing to yourself. It's really your
business. Keep this very personal decision to yourself
and find a support group of people who agree |
|
12:25:09 |
laurawv |
? |
|
12:25:15 |
Webmama_Tina |
At this time, please keep all side conversations to
private message (PM). To PM someone, please double click
their name in the user list to the right (in purple).
Clicking their name in the main window will only paste
their name into the chat. |
|
12:25:19 |
ikeessyou |
? |
|
12:25:38 |
ilovezoeystar |
? |
|
12:25:40 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
with you. Ask your in-laws to give you the opportunity
to make decisions for your family and in time they will
come to appreciate your concerns. Check out the forums
on motheringdotcommune for support. |
|
12:25:52 |
Webmama_Tina |
Upcoming chatters: maemery heids70 sweetpea laurawv
ikeessyou ilovezoeystar |
|
12:25:57 |
skimonami3 |
the nursing too,,,the cosleeping,,,they won't leave me
alone,,,thank-you peggy |
|
12:26:07 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
Thanks for the love, DODAD |
|
12:27:12 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
You have to establish your own authority as a parent
right now. My own mother was very skeptical and
challenging about my decisions. Even when I didn't tell
her, she would figure out what I was going to do next
---- like, oh my goddess --- homeschooling. |
|
12:27:47 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
Now, 25 years later she stops young mothers in Walmart
and recommends homeschooling to them. In the end, the
critics will see the good results of your parenting but
they have a right as relatives to be concerned. |
|
12:28:24 |
skimonami3 |
I'm done....I have an allie in my chiropractor,,,and
they seem to partially respect what she says,,yes,,I
respect thier concern,,,but the threats if anything
happens to her' etc" |
|
12:29:10 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
It's called keeping your own counsel. It's important
that you keep your own counsel. Their threats are
inappropriate. They do not have to right to do that or
to intimidate you. Your children do not belong to them
and only you and your family will live with the results
of your decisions. |
|
12:30:09 |
skimonami3 |
I am grateful to you,,,thanx peggy.... |
|
12:31:26 |
DODAD |
Hi TIna...sorry for my faux pas...I am an old (gray) Dad
but a babe in the chat room woods...how do I propose a
question to Peggy? |
|
12:31:29 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
Maybe you could say something like, I appreciate your
concerns, but I have to make my own decisions as a
parent and will take your concerns into account. Please
give me the benefit of the doubt and allow me to make my
own decisions." |
|
12:31:34 |
Webmama_Tina |
don't forget to say next question" when you are done.
:)" |
|
12:31:53 |
Webmama_Tina |
lol DODAD... here's the info you need: Welcome to this
week's Mothering Sponsored chat! This is a moderated
chat. Please make sure you read and fully understand the
Moderated Chat Instructions before participating in this
chat. Instructions can be found here:
http://www.mommychats.com/modrules.htm ...A Friendly
Reminder: Please do not post unless it is your turn to
ask a question. If you have a question, please post a
single ?" and you'll be added to the queue. Have your
question ready when your name is called." |
|
12:31:55 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
I'm an old gray mom. Fire away DODAD when you figure it
out. |
|
12:32:01 |
MOD_CelticAngel |
maemery is up next |
|
12:32:11 |
maemery |
I am 38 weeks pregnant and my GB Strep test came back
positive...I do not want antibiotics given to me during
labor, but my midwife says I have no choice, as I am
giving birth in a hospital. I am trying to persuade her
to let me take the test again in two |
|
12:32:29 |
MOD_CelticAngel |
I'll add you to the que, DODAD and call you when it's
your turn :) |
|
12:32:49 |
maemery |
weeks...I am looking for some ways to get rid of the
bacteria in my system during the next few weeks if it is
possible |
|
12:33:48 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
We have a great article that addresses this on the
website. Type in group b strep into the search engine.
There is a sidebar on herbal treatments and one on
probiotic diet to get rid of the bacteria. |
|
12:33:53 |
maemery |
and could change the test results...from what I've read,
this test is wholly unreliable |
|
12:34:45 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
I agree that the test is unreliable and the treatment
overly cautious. From what I understand you make your
own decision here and be on safe ground. |
|
12:34:47 |
maemery |
Thanks, I'll try that...do you know of successes with
it? |
|
12:35:19 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
Yes, I do know of many successes. We could get you in
touch with the author. Kimber is going to put that up
here next. |
|
12:35:32 |
maemery |
thanx peggy! |
|
12:36:08 |
kimber |
The bio note on the author of the article conveys her
success |
|
12:36:30 |
kimber |
I tried to paste it in but that did not work |
|
12:36:48 |
maemery |
can I contact her directly? |
|
12:37:14 |
kimber |
email me at kimbers@mothering.com for author contact
info, maemery |
|
12:37:16 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
The article was in #121, Nov/Dec 2003. Email
kimbers@mothering.com for the author |
|
12:37:23 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
author's email. |
|
12:37:40 |
maemery |
thank you |
|
12:37:56 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
Good luck to you maemery. I wish you success. Fight the
fear. |
|
12:38:04 |
MOD_CelticAngel |
heids70 is up next |
|
12:38:59 |
heids70 |
hi! can u come back 2 me in a little while, i am
nursing my 2 month old at the moment. ps i am so
nervous! peggy is my HERO!!! |
|
12:39:08 |
MOD_CelticAngel |
lol sure no problem |
|
12:39:15 |
heids70 |
THANKS... |
|
12:39:16 |
MOD_CelticAngel |
sweatpea you're up then :) |
|
12:39:20 |
sweetpea |
I enjoyed your column about defining" natural family
living and am wondering if you will do an update and let
us know how others define natural family living (from
responses to your questions at the end of the column)." |
|
12:39:23 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
You are so dear. You are MY hero! |
|
12:39:57 |
ruthla |
time for me to get ds- bye ladies |
|
12:41:17 |
identitycrisismama |
? |
|
12:41:40 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
That issue with the natural family living editorial is
the May/June issue and just out now and we're getting
responses so I don't have too many yet. I really did not
try to do a totally complete definition here, but wanted
to counter the bad press that attachment parenting was
getting from Judith Warner's book The Perfect Madness.
Also, I wanted to communicate it in a simple,
non-threatening way for parents new to it. So, if I left
out anything important, I'm sorry but just did not want
to make a new dogma. |
|
12:42:27 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
I will think about doing an update and will certainly
have a lively discussion in Your Letters in the mag. |
|
12:42:32 |
sweetpea |
Will be interested in any responses printed in the next
issue then! |
|
12:42:49 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
What would you have added, Sweetpea? |
|
12:43:13 |
sweetpea |
elimination communication! |
|
12:44:07 |
sweetpea |
The bond my husband and I share with our daughter has
been enhanced so much by listening to and respecting her
communications in this area! |
|
12:44:08 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
I have no personal experience with this so it's
difficult for me to evaluate from a personal point of
view. |
|
12:45:16 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
Next question |
|
12:45:37 |
MOD_CelticAngel |
laurawv is up next |
|
12:45:51 |
laurawv |
Thank you so much for Mothering magazine... it's such an
important link for me to the attachment parenting world,
when I'm surrounded by mainstream parenters. I'm a new
mom (my son is 11.5 weeks old), and had to go back to
work when he was 8 weeks. |
|
12:46:33 |
laurawv |
I'm just wondering if you have any insight as to how I
can stay sane while having to be away from him for 40
hours a week. It's still so hard, and this is the 4th
week... I'm all about attachment parenting, but it forms
such a strong bond between us, which |
|
12:46:38 |
laurawv |
is difficult when we have to be apart. |
|
12:48:49 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
I sympathize wih you so much, Laura. I feel that ache of
separation. Find other mothers in your situation, at
least one who has been there, done that. Read Karen
Pryor's book Breastfeeding and Working or something like
that. Go to La Leche League meetings for working moms.
Nurse a lot at night. Go the MDC boards and discuss (if
you have time!!) Be with your baby as much as possible
when you're not working. Wear your baby. Look for work
from home. |
|
12:49:27 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
No, It's Gale Pryor, Karen's daughter, who wrote the
book. |
|
12:50:13 |
laurawv |
I'm doing all the right stuff at home... being with him
every minute. I'm reading Nursing Mother Working Mother,
and it's great... it's just sometimes it seems so wrong
to be a working mother. Thank you, Peggy. ...I hope that
my question |
|
12:50:21 |
laurawv |
sounded like an actual question, not just whining. :) |
|
12:53:04 |
laurawv |
You're right, it would be great to have another mom
who's done this to talk to... i'll try to find a group.
Thank you. Thanks for Mothering... it's outstanding.
--over and out. |
|
12:53:23 |
Webmama_Tina |
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/APmomsconnect might find
ya someone |
|
12:53:31 |
MOD_CelticAngel |
ikeessyou is up next |
|
12:53:34 |
ikeessyou |
Peggy - I'm pregnant again after 16 years! I picked up
Mothering and when I saw your picture, I felt like I was
seeing a very dear old friend again! Interestingly
enough, it was an older piece of yours that I remembered
from long ago |
|
12:53:34 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
I don't know what to say without making you feel worse.
I think it is important to be with your babies in the
early years. If we simply cannot do this, then we have
to deal and cope with the feelings. If there are
options, then we must look into them. If you have
working because you have to that is one thing. If you
are working because you think you should or because of
pressure from your spouse or others that is another
thing. Only you can sort that out and the ache you feel
missing your baby, the gut pull from the invisible
umbilical cord is real and for a reason. But, only you
can figure out what your real choices are. You could
also read some old books, Mothers at Home and Sequencing
by Cardoza (I'm forgetting the spelling). Imagine other
options. |
|
12:53:59 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
16 years, wow. |
|
12:54:10 |
ikeessyou |
and it brought back so many memories. Being pregnant in
my 40's is a lot different from 20's! |
|
12:55:22 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
I'll bet. Do you feel more tired? More relaxed about
things? Are you being terrified by high risk" talk or
are you cool with that?" |
|
12:55:30 |
ikeessyou |
I just wanted you to know how much you and Mothering
have meant to me over the years, not just with babies,
but with big" kids as well - especially teenagers!
People are amazed that such a "liberal" mom can have
such "good" kids!" |
|
12:57:03 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
Isn't it funny what liberal means today. There's a
difference between being open-minded and responsive with
our kids and being permissive. We can still be the ones
in charge while acknowledging and meeting our children's
legitimate needs. I'm glad Mothering has helped you and
I wish you the best with your new one. I bet the teens
will be a great help! |
|
12:57:17 |
ikeessyou |
It's hard not to be freaked out because of my advanced
maternal age" and all the medical intervention that is
recommended...but, I've opted" |
|
12:59:04 |
Webmama_Tina |
holy cow, time flew...the time is nearly up...peggy do
you need to jam right at the end or do you have time to
answer a little more questions? |
|
12:59:10 |
ikeessyou |
out of most everything with my doctor's approval. What
has been most shocking is that in my practice, I stand
out because I'm not asking for an epidural! AND, I don't
know what" my baby is...people ask and I just tell them
that it's a human being, that's" |
|
12:59:13 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
When we did an article years ago on birth after 40, we
discovered that the research, at least at that time and
I suspect now, did not factor out lifestyle choices. So
all women were lumped together. It is safe to assume
that a woman in her forties with a healthy lifestyle
would differ in her risk factors from one with an
unhealthy lifestyle. It has been my experience that
lifestyle not age is the factor in many health issues,
even aging. |
|
12:59:20 |
ikeessyou |
what we know! THANKS! Bye! |
|
12:59:44 |
Peggy_O_Mara |
We can go 15 or 20 minutes longer if you all would like. |
|
12:59:46 |
MOD_CelticAngel |
ilovezoeystar is up next and there's three more on the
que after her |
|
12:59:57 |
Webmama_Tina |
ok how many more questions in the que celtic? |
|
13:00:03 |
Webmama_Tina |
oh you already answered me |
|
13:00:04 |
Webmama_Tina |
LOL |
|
13:00:05 |
MOD_CelticAngel |
:) |
|
13:00:07 |
MOD_CelticAngel |
beat ya |
|
|
