|
21:03:46 |
Webmama_Tina |
welcome, welcome scott! |
|
21:03:51 |
Webmama_Tina |
so glad to have you here tonite! |
|
21:04:02 |
Webmama_Tina |
i'm juggling a toddler off an on so
forgive the time lapses :) |
|
21:04:03 |
Dayna Martin |
Welcome Scott! |
|
21:04:12 |
ModWendyCooper |
wooohoooo Welcome! |
|
21:04:16 |
Webmama_Tina |
yay dayna, glad to see you here too! :) |
|
21:04:25 |
Dayna Martin |
Thanks! |
|
21:04:29 |
Scott_Noelle |
Hi Everyone! Here's my disclaimer... I'm
a notoriously slow/pensive writer...
haven't done much text chat... so we'll
see how this real-time thing works out.
I reserve the right to retract anything
I write without my usual mulling-it-over
time. :) |
|
21:04:31 |
Webmama_Tina |
those who don't remember dayna, she did
a chat with us a couple weeks ago...her
transcripts are in the mtohering mag
section |
|
21:04:32 |
Dayna Martin |
glad to be here |
|
21:04:45 |
Webmama_Tina |
LOL scott |
|
21:04:46 |
Webmama_Tina |
good to know |
|
21:04:52 |
Scott_Noelle |
Hi Dayna! |
|
21:05:02 |
Dayna Martin |
Hi! |
|
21:05:02 |
Webmama_Tina |
the good news is that this chat does do
a typing button to let us know if you
are typing |
|
21:05:12 |
Webmama_Tina |
well its supposed to...i don't know if
its always accurate |
|
21:05:44 |
Webmama_Tina |
ok so lets get started....if you have a
question for scott you can start posting
a single question mark and i'll start
gathering... |
|
21:05:59 |
Webmama_Tina |
and scott...why don't you give an intro
and add anything that you like to what i
already posted? :) |
|
21:07:38 |
ModWendyCooper |
lol Scott needs a real time
transcriptionist... I just read what he
wrote above :) |
|
21:07:51 |
ModWendyCooper |
all in fun Scott! |
|
21:07:51 |
Scott_Noelle |
I guess I'd just like to welcome
everyone... my bio above says it all...
so ask away! |
|
21:08:14 |
Scott_Noelle |
Don't get me started, Wendy. :) |
|
21:08:21 |
Webmama_Tina |
hehe |
|
21:08:34 |
Webmama_Tina |
ok since we don't have any questions
yet.... |
|
21:08:57 |
Webmama_Tina |
i'm curious, scott, what your training
is? :) |
|
21:09:26 |
mamautumn |
? |
|
21:09:35 |
mdmfrank |
? |
|
21:09:35 |
Webmama_Tina |
always interesting to hear...it says you
are a parenting coach...i don't know a
thing about that...can you tell us more?
i'm sure i'm not the only one...i only
just started learning about your work :) |
|
21:10:13 |
Webmama_Tina |
by the way, mamas, i HIGHLY recommend
scott's enjoyparenting.com site...and
the podcasts on there are awesome! i am
learning so much! |
|
21:10:24 |
Scott_Noelle |
I'm trained as a musician! The whole
convoluted story is on my website at
http://www.scottnoelle.com/#mybackground |
|
21:10:29 |
manifestingmommyhood |
? |
|
21:10:32 |
Webmama_Tina |
lol ok wow, cool! |
|
21:10:35 |
ModWendyCooper |
love podcasts!!! |
|
21:11:05 |
Webmama_Tina |
mamautumn you can go ahead with your
question :) |
|
21:11:32 |
Webmama_Tina |
current chatter: mamautumn ...upcoming
chatters: mdmfrank,
manifestingmommyhood |
|
21:11:45 |
mamautumn |
what exactly do you mean by paradigm
shift, can you talk about that? |
|
21:11:51 |
Scott_Noelle |
They're not actually podcasts. I call
them "Virtual Coaching" sessions. But
you access them the same way you access
podcasts (except it's not free) :) |
|
21:12:50 |
ModWendyCooper |
i wish i could charge for my podcast lol
you're lucky you have the knowledge to
spew and charge for it... awesome job! |
|
21:12:56 |
Scott_Noelle |
mamautumn -- It's the shift from the old
"dominator" paradigm to the
"partnership" paradigm... |
|
21:13:12 |
Webmama_Tina |
oh i see :) |
|
21:13:16 |
pandora665 |
? |
|
21:13:40 |
Webmama_Tina |
current chatter: mamautumn ...upcoming
chatters: mdmfrank,
manifestingmommyhood, pandora665 |
|
21:14:25 |
mamautumn |
what are the first steps to take in the
shift |
|
21:14:37 |
Scott_Noelle |
The partnership paradigm is actually
older than the dominator system (see
http://www.continuum-concept.org ) but we
can't apply the exactly the way Stone
Age people did... |
|
21:16:02 |
Shanana |
? |
|
21:16:13 |
Scott_Noelle |
...because of the realities of modern
life. Creativity is required to
integrate the old and the older, so I
sometimes call it the "creative
partnership" paradigm... (what can I
say... I like to make up words. ;) ) |
|
21:16:17 |
Webmama_Tina |
current chatter: mamautumn ...upcoming
chatters: mdmfrank,
manifestingmommyhood, pandora665,
Shanana |
|
21:17:37 |
Scott_Noelle |
Read "Ishmael" by Daniel Quinn for more
about the paradigm shift. |
|
21:17:58 |
mamautumn |
thank you! |
|
21:18:05 |
Miranda |
? |
|
21:18:05 |
Scott_Noelle |
You're welcome! |
|
21:18:21 |
Scott_Noelle |
Next? |
|
21:18:25 |
mdmfrank |
I've been on your email list for a while
and really enjoy every daily groove.
Almost every single one gets forwarded
onto someone in my list, if not many! I
really enjoy your perspective, since it
meshes with my own yet introduces new
ideas and ways |
|
21:18:26 |
Webmama_Tina |
mdmfrank, you're up! :) |
|
21:18:30 |
Webmama_Tina |
ah she beat me :) |
|
21:18:38 |
mdmfrank |
I've been on your email list for a while
and really enjoy every daily groove.
Almost every single one gets forwarded
onto someone in my list, if not many! I
really enjoy your perspective, since it
meshes with my own yet introduces new
ideas and ways |
|
21:18:47 |
mdmfrank |
oops |
|
21:18:52 |
Webmama_Tina |
current chatter:mdmfrank ...upcoming
chatters: manifestingmommyhood,
pandora665, Shanana, Miranda |
|
21:19:05 |
Scott_Noelle |
Thanks, mdmfrank! Do you have a ? |
|
21:19:10 |
mdmfrank |
of looking at things that I hadn't
thought of before. SO my questino |
|
21:19:36 |
mdmfrank |
question is related to something going
on right now with my daughter, who is a
little over two and a half years old |
|
21:20:09 |
mdmfrank |
Nearly every day she takes a nap in the
afternoon, and when she wakes up she
cries, a lot, and sometimes
unconsolably! |
|
21:20:45 |
mdmfrank |
I can't figure out why or what to do,
I've tried a lot of things, and I don't
know if I just need a different mindset
or if there's something I might be able
to do to help her out. Any ideas? |
|
21:21:23 |
Scott_Noelle |
The transition from waking to sleeping
and back is really quite dramatic. We're
used to it, so we don't think much of
it, but for some sensitive kids it's
really a major transition... |
|
21:21:51 |
Scott_Noelle |
It's like dying and being reborn every
time! .... |
|
21:22:21 |
mdmfrank |
yes, my mom told me that I used to do
that too. I don't remember what it felt
like though. |
|
21:23:02 |
nurturenature |
? |
|
21:23:17 |
Scott_Noelle |
Have you ever tried meditation? |
|
21:23:27 |
Webmama_Tina |
current chatter:mdmfrank ...upcoming
chatters: manifestingmommyhood,
pandora665, Shanana, Miranda,
nurturenature |
|
21:23:34 |
mdmfrank |
For myself? Or with her? I've tried it
myself |
|
21:23:50 |
mdmfrank |
Oh, I can see where you're headed |
|
21:24:24 |
Scott_Noelle |
I'm actually not much into meditating in
the usual way of contemplating your
navel :) but it's a good way to increase
your awareness of changing states of
consciousness. |
|
21:24:34 |
Dayna Martin |
lol |
|
21:24:39 |
Scott_Noelle |
Where was I headed? |
|
21:24:52 |
ModWendyCooper |
lol |
|
21:24:55 |
Webmama_Tina |
lol |
|
21:25:05 |
mdmfrank |
Well, in my own mind you were headed
here: when I come out of meditation it
might be a lot like what she feels like
when she wakes up from a nap |
|
21:25:36 |
mdmfrank |
Is that where you were headed? :) |
|
21:25:53 |
Scott_Noelle |
Yes. (You're hired!) So the more you
understand the transition, the better
you can be present with her in it. |
|
21:26:12 |
mdmfrank |
Are you hiring? (j/k) |
|
21:26:18 |
ModWendyCooper |
lol |
|
21:26:30 |
Dayna Martin |
can I come work with you too? |
|
21:26:41 |
mdmfrank |
It's not easy to be present with her
when I also have a newborn to be present
with at the same time :P |
|
21:26:42 |
ModWendyCooper |
where's the line.... |
|
21:27:05 |
Scott_Noelle |
Dayna, you can help unschool my kids...
takes about 10 minutes a day. |
|
21:27:30 |
Dayna Martin |
Anytime ;) |
|
21:27:42 |
Webmama_Tina |
lol |
|
21:27:47 |
Webmama_Tina |
current chatter:mdmfrank ...upcoming
chatters: manifestingmommyhood,
pandora665, Shanana, Miranda,
nurturenature |
|
21:28:10 |
mamaearth |
hi - I joined a few minutes ago - I have
a question - is there a "line up"? |
|
21:29:35 |
Webmama_Tina |
mamaearth, yup! :) |
|
21:29:36 |
Webmama_Tina |
current chatter:mdmfrank ...upcoming
chatters: manifestingmommyhood,
pandora665, Shanana, Miranda,
nurturenature |
|
21:29:42 |
Webmama_Tina |
Welcome to this week's Mothering
Sponsored chat! This is a moderated
chat. Please make sure you read and
fully understand the Moderated Chat
Instructions before participating in
this chat. Instructions can be found
here:
http://www.mommychats.com/modrules.htm
...A Friendly Reminder: Please do not
post unless it is your turn to ask a
question. If you have a question, please
post a single "?" and you'll be added
to the queue. Have your question ready
when your name is called. |
|
21:29:46 |
mdmfrank |
Thanks Scott, I feel a little stuck but
I will ponder it. Maybe if I meditate
on it. Meanwhile, I will wipe up the
water that just spilled all over the
keyboard. Deep breaths! |
|
21:30:05 |
Webmama_Tina |
lol sillies |
|
21:30:08 |
Scott_Noelle |
mdmfrank -- contact me off-chat... I
have a consolation prize for you. :) |
|
21:30:22 |
Scott_Noelle |
info@enjoyparenting.com |
|
21:30:45 |
mdmfrank |
Will definitely do. Thanks times
infinity! |
|
21:30:46 |
Webmama_Tina |
manifestingmommyhood is up next! :) |
|
21:30:55 |
manifestingmommyhood |
DH and I are both Adult Children of
Alcoholics. We are doing the best we
can, but it can be overwhelming since
neither of us has an example of healthy
parenting. I read your DG everyday.
There is so much to work on. |
|
21:31:06 |
ModWendyCooper |
LOVE that username manifestingmommyhood |
|
21:32:10 |
Scott_Noelle |
manifestingmommyhood -- I used to attend
ACOA meetings when I was a new parent.
Saved my butt. |
|
21:32:23 |
Scott_Noelle |
(Can I say "butt"?) |
|
21:32:28 |
ModWendyCooper |
lol |
|
21:32:51 |
Webmama_Tina |
lol of course |
|
21:33:00 |
manifestingmommyhood |
It is so easy to fall into the trap of
doing what your parents did regarding
discipline etc.... I don't want to do
that. It takes soooo much effort to
think before I act and sometimes my
patience runs thin. |
|
21:33:05 |
Webmama_Tina |
its short for buttocks, you know! LOL
*giggle* |
|
21:33:32 |
Scott_Noelle |
My parents aren't alcoholics, but there
was enough of a dysfunctional background
that the program was a good fit for me
at the time. |
|
21:34:11 |
manifestingmommyhood |
I'll try to find a meeting nearby. I
live in a smallish town. |
|
21:35:01 |
Scott_Noelle |
You and your DH can have a meeting of
two. It's the spirit of the gathering
that counts. |
|
21:35:08 |
manifestingmommyhood |
Do you have any tips for me on how not
to get too overwhelmed so that I end up
missing out on the joy of parenting my
children? |
|
21:35:39 |
manifestingmommyhood |
We wouldn't know the first thing about
doing such a meeting. Is there
information about it? |
|
21:35:44 |
Webmama_Tina |
i'd love an answer to that myself, and i
don't actually come from any
dysfunction! *"listening" intently* |
|
21:36:08 |
Scott_Noelle |
Let yourself off the hook. Decide that
it's okay to be a f*ck-up. (He escalates
from butt... what's next?)... |
|
21:36:32 |
Dayna Martin |
lol |
|
21:36:47 |
manifestingmommyhood |
I have a major perfection issue. It is
so hard to allow myself to mess up. |
|
21:36:51 |
ModWendyCooper |
http://www.adultchildren.org/ |
|
21:37:07 |
ModWendyCooper |
looks like they have lots of literature |
|
21:37:12 |
manifestingmommyhood |
I am a typical ADOA. |
|
21:37:14 |
Scott_Noelle |
Seriously, it's a paradox: the more you
give yourself permission to be where you
are in the process, the easier it is for
the process to ... um... proceed. |
|
21:37:21 |
manifestingmommyhood |
ACOA |
|
21:37:42 |
Scott_Noelle |
You are a perfect mess! ;) |
|
21:37:49 |
manifestingmommyhood |
You got it! |
|
21:37:52 |
Scott_Noelle |
(And so am I!) |
|
21:37:56 |
ModWendyCooper |
here here! |
|
21:37:58 |
Webmama_Tina |
pandora665 is next :) |
|
21:38:08 |
pandora665 |
Thanks for having this chat! I've been
reading your site for only a day or two,
and I'm already inspired! |
|
21:38:22 |
Webmama_Tina |
current chatter:pandora665 ...upcoming
chatters: Shanana, Miranda,
nurturenature, mamaearth |
|
21:39:01 |
Scott_Noelle |
You're welcome, pandora... And what's in
that mysterious box of yours today? |
|
21:39:11 |
pandora665 |
My question regards my 4 month old. An
easy child, and I wonder how best to
help her let us know when she is truly
upset. :) |
|
21:39:51 |
Scott_Noelle |
Does she not cry when she's upset?? |
|
21:40:41 |
pandora665 |
Not truly. She will sometimes fuss a
teeny bit, but even after an
immunization, she just looked up at
us... |
|
21:41:08 |
pandora665 |
Only thing she ever really cries about
is if she is away from physical contact
with us, which we don't have happen
much. |
|
21:41:27 |
Scott_Noelle |
Are you intuiting that she is
emotionally "shut down" in some way? |
|
21:41:48 |
pandora665 |
I just wonder if she doesn't feel safe
letting us know what's up. |
|
21:43:08 |
Scott_Noelle |
Do the people in her environment (you,
dh, etc) general feel comfortable with
emotional expression? |
|
21:43:30 |
Scott_Noelle |
oops, "generally" |
|
21:44:07 |
pandora665 |
I'm a lot more comfortable than DH, I
know, but we've made efforts not to
"hush" her and what not. |
|
21:44:27 |
Webmama_Tina |
current chatter:pandora665 ...upcoming
chatters: Shanana, Miranda,
nurturenature, mamaearth |
|
21:44:48 |
Webmama_Tina |
for latecomers: Welcome to this week's
Mothering Sponsored chat! This is a
moderated chat. Please make sure you
read and fully understand the Moderated
Chat Instructions before participating
in this chat. Instructions can be found
here:
http://www.mommychats.com/modrules.htm
...A Friendly Reminder: Please do not
post unless it is your turn to ask a
question. If you have a question, please
post a single "?" and you'll be added
to the queue. Have your question ready
when your name is called. |
|
21:45:10 |
Scott_Noelle |
There is a difference between "not
hushing" and truly accepting. Does it
feel to you like you have to *try* not
to hush her? |
|
21:45:24 |
Scott_Noelle |
Does it make you cringe? |
|
21:45:29 |
Miranda |
I'm curious about where your parenting
wisdom comes from. Will you share with
us what your current practice is that
keeps your butt in the groove these
days? |
|
21:46:03 |
Webmama_Tina |
miranda, we're taking turns :) your turn
is coming soon :) |
|
21:46:14 |
Miranda |
Ooops! Sorry! That was my daughter's
finger bumping the key a bit early ;) |
|
21:46:16 |
Webmama_Tina |
current chatter:pandora665 ...upcoming
chatters: Shanana, Miranda,
nurturenature, mamaearth |
|
21:46:24 |
Webmama_Tina |
LOL, no worries, i totally understand!
LOL |
|
21:46:37 |
pandora665 |
Yes, I do. As I'm typing, she's crying
with DH right now. maybe we're getting
etter? |
|
21:46:57 |
Scott_Noelle |
That'll be $150. :) |
|
21:47:01 |
pandora665 |
better? sorry, nak. |
|
21:47:03 |
Webmama_Tina |
ROFL |
|
21:47:10 |
ModWendyCooper |
lol |
|
21:47:12 |
pandora665 |
:D |
|
21:47:38 |
Miranda |
:embarassed: |
|
21:48:05 |
Shanana |
I guess I'll go ...My dd is 17 months
old. I don't want her to feel like I am
dominating her, but sometimes I have to
do things that don't make sense to her
(like stop her from pulling a sharp
knife out of the dishwasher). I know
this is unavoidable |
|
21:48:19 |
pandora665 |
thanks for the insight, scott. |
|
21:48:36 |
Shanana |
to a certain extent, although I try to
steer clear when I can. But I'm really
struggling with how to have her interact
with other kids. She is way too young,
IMO, to understand about sharing. But
she can't always have all the toys! ... |
|
21:48:39 |
Scott_Noelle |
You're welcome, pandora665 |
|
21:49:19 |
Webmama_Tina |
current chatter:Shanana ...upcoming
chatters: Miranda, nurturenature,
mamaearth |
|
21:49:26 |
Shanana |
I struggle with how to get her to
'share' the available toys when she
doesn't understand the reasoning.
Sometimes I wonder if it's best to just
let the kids duke it out, with
supervision of course. But hard when
you don't know the other parents/kids
... |
|
21:50:03 |
Shanana |
Is there a way to handle this without
her feeling like I'm "bending her to my
will" and she doesn't understand why?
Or is this just one of those time when
she's not going to get it until she's
older, and we just have to live with
that? |
|
21:50:25 |
Scott_Noelle |
Are you on my Daily Groove mailing list?
I just wrote a relevant message today!
http://www.enjoyparenting.com/daily-groove/my |
|
21:50:49 |
Shanana |
Yes ... not sure if I've read today's
yet. |
|
21:51:42 |
Dayna Martin |
It's the best way to start your day! |
|
21:51:43 |
Shanana |
Ah, yes, I read that. But that seems
more long term. How do I handle the
scenario in the library when she's
grabbing all the toys and screaming? |
|
21:51:45 |
Scott_Noelle |
The short answer (that takes a long time
to implement fully) is that you need to
really connect with the JOY of sharing,
and share that joy with her as often as
you can.... |
|
21:52:33 |
Scott_Noelle |
Children don't learn by reasoning, they
learn by feeling. |
|
21:53:04 |
Scott_Noelle |
Create the feeling any way you can.
Immerse yourselves in it. Enjoy it! |
|
21:53:28 |
Shanana |
Well, there's definitely not a lot of
reasoning to be done with a 17 month
old! lol |
|
21:54:01 |
Shanana |
I will work to focus more on the feeling
aspect of it. Thanks. |
|
21:54:31 |
Webmama_Tina |
scott is this one of those times when
"act as if" would work...even if you're
not feeling joy, act as if you
are?...cuz i have the same stuff with my
18mo old...toddlerhood is HARD! :) |
|
21:55:14 |
Scott_Noelle |
I used to hoard my food... "MY" food...
from my little one. ("Eat your own
toast, this is mine.") Then I realized
I was teaching her not to share. Now
when she asked for a bite, I say YES!
YES! YES! I LOVE to share with you.
Sharing is fun! etc. |
|
21:55:46 |
Webmama_Tina |
oh good point! never thought of it that
way! :) |
|
21:55:52 |
Scott_Noelle |
Oops, "asks" |
|
21:56:31 |
Miranda |
My Turn! :silly: Hi Scott, I'm curious
about where your parenting wisdom comes
from. Will you share with us what the
current practice is that keeps your butt
in the groove these days? |
|
21:57:13 |
Scott_Noelle |
Webmama_Tina, acting "as if" works, but
if you have a lot of pain around the
issue of sharing, it's good to allow it
a place to work through (probably not in
direct interaction with your child). |
|
21:58:06 |
Webmama_Tina |
current chatter:Miranda ...upcoming
chatters: nurturenature, mamaearth |
|
21:58:39 |
Webmama_Tina |
thanks scott |
|
21:59:17 |
Scott_Noelle |
I'm really quite lazy, so I don't really
do much that qualifies as "practice"...
but I have recently been gung ho about
the metaphysical concept of "the Law of
Attraction" esp. as taught by Esther
Hicks. |
|
22:00:16 |
Scott_Noelle |
Speaking of laziness, there is a great
book called "The Lazy Way to Success"
that I highy recommend.
www.lazyway.net
(I think) |
|
22:00:22 |
Miranda |
What do you suggest for families where
one parent is on board with partnering
with their children and the other, well,
isn't? |
|
22:01:48 |
SandraMort |
Hello? |
|
22:01:57 |
Webmama_Tina |
hi sandra! |
|
22:02:01 |
Webmama_Tina |
Welcome to this week's Mothering
Sponsored chat! This is a moderated
chat. Please make sure you read and
fully understand the Moderated Chat
Instructions before participating in
this chat. Instructions can be found
here:
http://www.mommychats.com/modrules.htm
...A Friendly Reminder: Please do not
post unless it is your turn to ask a
question. If you have a question, please
post a single "?" and you'll be added
to the queue. Have your question ready
when your name is called. |
|
22:02:13 |
Scott_Noelle |
One way to look at it is that the
authoritarian IS wanting to be a partner
but is a little (or a lot) confused
about how to have "power with" rather
than "power over". |
|
22:03:23 |
Scott_Noelle |
So you can be a partner to that person
in his or her journey back to clarity
and authentic empowerment. |
|
22:03:44 |
Scott_Noelle |
(You don't have to tell him what you're
doing!) ;) |
|
22:04:25 |
Dayna Martin |
Just model for him another way to be,
rather than telling him how to be, right
Scott? |
|
22:04:32 |
Miranda |
okay, that sounds easy :/ |
|
22:04:45 |
Scott_Noelle |
(In fact, let him take credit for his
achievement.) |
|
22:04:52 |
Miranda |
be the change huh? |
|
22:05:01 |
Scott_Noelle |
Yes to both. |
|
22:05:26 |
Webmama_Tina |
current chatter:Miranda ...upcoming
chatters: nurturenature, mamaearth |
|
22:06:17 |
Miranda |
thanks. maybe i need to be lazier :D |
|
22:06:17 |
Scott_Noelle |
There are specific ways you can be a
positive influence... beyond the scope
of this chat. Contact me off-chat if you
like.
info@enjoyparenting.com |
|
22:06:37 |
Webmama_Tina |
scott did you still want to go an extra
30min? |
|
22:06:53 |
Webmama_Tina |
or shall we try to wrap things up? |
|
22:06:58 |
Scott_Noelle |
I'm having fun... Why not!? |
|
22:07:00 |
nurturenature |
Scott, since you refered us to Quinn, in
your opinion how does a "leaver" family
flourish in a "taker" world? My dh
(dedicated husband) and I struggle with
the closedmindedness and inconsideration
of our culture, especially when it comes
to parenting. |
|
22:07:02 |
Webmama_Tina |
lol ok |
|
22:07:04 |
Miranda |
okay. i will. good night! next?! |
|
22:07:24 |
Webmama_Tina |
nurturenature is up |
|
22:07:35 |
Scott_Noelle |
Are y'all the leaver family? |
|
22:07:43 |
Webmama_Tina |
current chatter:nurturenature
...upcoming chatters: mamaearth |
|
22:07:50 |
nurturenature |
We are trying. |
|
22:09:39 |
Scott_Noelle |
Sorry... I get smug sometimes... My
point is that we are all Taker families
and, IMO, we cannot be Leavers... BUT we
*can* integrate the best of both worlds
and create a whole new paradigm, as I
wrote earlier... |
|
22:10:03 |
Scott_Noelle |
Teavers? Lakers? |
|
22:10:24 |
sdinalb |
*) |
|
22:10:37 |
nurturenature |
Any suggestions in trying to be
different? |
|
22:11:29 |
Scott_Noelle |
I advocate what I call "the creative
pleasure principle" -- see
http://www.enjoyparenting.com/daily-groove/pleasure-principle-1 |
|
22:11:44 |
Scott_Noelle |
Leavers lived by that principle... |
|
22:12:06 |
Webmama_Tina |
uh, some of us are lost on the takers
and leavers |
|
22:12:11 |
nurturenature |
Thanks*fingerscrossed* |
|
22:12:40 |
Dayna Martin |
(raises hand) lost on the takers and
leavers thang |
|
22:12:44 |
Scott_Noelle |
But more creativity is needed in the
modern world of global consciousness. |
|
22:12:50 |
SandraMort |
me toom, but I got here late |
|
22:12:58 |
mamaearth |
consumers vs. minimalists? |
|
22:13:06 |
nurturenature |
YES! |
|
22:13:06 |
Scott_Noelle |
Dayna... Read "Ishmael" by Quinn |
|
22:13:20 |
Dayna Martin |
I will, thanks! (going to Amazon now ;) |
|
22:13:46 |
Scott_Noelle |
next? |
|
22:14:01 |
mamaearth |
Hi Scott. Thanks for doing this. I enjoy
your daily emails. |
|
22:14:09 |
mamaearth |
My turn I think |
|
22:14:13 |
Webmama_Tina |
yup |
|
22:14:16 |
Webmama_Tina |
you're up mamaearth |
|
22:14:26 |
Webmama_Tina |
sorry i got lost for a sec |
|
22:14:29 |
Webmama_Tina |
;) |
|
22:15:19 |
mamaearth |
I'm wondering if you have any advice for
parents who are artists. We are a very
creative couple who created daily
through music, painting, and various
other forms. We had so much passion in
our lives and with having a toddler it's
diminished greatly |
|
22:15:33 |
Scott_Noelle |
Dayna, you can get up to speed with
Quinn's ideas at
www.ishmael.org -- BTW,
he has a great essay on unschooling, if
I recall. |
|
22:15:41 |
crunchychristianmom |
? |
|
22:15:43 |
ModWendyCooper |
awesome questions mamaearth :) |
|
22:15:44 |
mamaearth |
our son doesn't sleep at night - he's up
every 30 minutes, so it's difficult to
get into our groove |
|
22:15:51 |
Dayna Martin |
Awesome Scott thanks! Always looking to
learn more! |
|
22:16:25 |
Scott_Noelle |
My wife and I were pro musicians before
parenthood... |
|
22:16:36 |
mamaearth |
and we used to be such a harmonious
(sp?) family, and now we seem to be
arguing more often - who uwas up longer,
who had more time to create...
competition for time to be passionate.
It's getting ugly |
|
22:16:44 |
mamaearth |
yes we are also |
|
22:17:22 |
Scott_Noelle |
This is good! A perfect opportunity to
evolve as artists.... |
|
22:17:35 |
mamaearth |
LOL how'd I know you'd say that |
|
22:17:47 |
Webmama_Tina |
current chatter: mamaearth...upcoming
chatters: crunchychristianmom |
|
22:17:50 |
ModWendyCooper |
lol |
|
22:18:33 |
Webmama_Tina |
dh and i aren't artists and we fight
over free time too...i hear ya there! |
|
22:18:49 |
Scott_Noelle |
Competition, including the "need" to
perform well, is holding you back from
your true creativity... |
|
22:19:10 |
lisadreisig |
? |
|
22:19:44 |
Scott_Noelle |
I know artists like Heather (Hathor the
cowgoddess) who just rolled with it
going into parenthood... |
|
22:20:12 |
Webmama_Tina |
current chatter: mamaearth...upcoming
chatters: crunchychristianmom,
lisadreisig |
|
22:20:35 |
Scott_Noelle |
But my wife and I were too attached to
our preconceived ideas of what our art
was supposed to be like... |
|
22:21:02 |
Scott_Noelle |
basically we crashed and burned and
started over... |
|
22:21:25 |
SandraMort |
? |
|
22:21:57 |
Scott_Noelle |
Fast forward ten years and my wife is
finally in her groove as a musician AND
a mom (look out world!)... |
|
22:22:59 |
Scott_Noelle |
And I am happy to have found this avenue
of creative expression (writing and
coaching). Call me if you want more of
the juicy details. :) |
|
22:23:17 |
Scott_Noelle |
1-877-ALL-4-JOY (1-877-255-4569) |
|
22:23:26 |
Webmama_Tina |
current chatter: mamaearth...upcoming
chatters: crunchychristianmom,
lisadreisig, SandraMort |
|
22:24:19 |
Scott_Noelle |
Next? |
|
22:24:22 |
crunchychristianmom |
hi Scott! i love getting your
dailygrooves. :) missed the first 1/2
of this chat, but here goes... my
question's about handling emotions... my
5yo is very expressive, and most ppl
have a hard time with his volume, which
is undeniably LOUD. |
|
22:24:44 |
crunchychristianmom |
I mean specifically when he's
disappointed or sad aboutsomething... |
|
22:25:00 |
Scott_Noelle |
He is their teacher. :) |
|
22:25:02 |
Webmama_Tina |
current chatter:crunchychristianmom
...upcoming chatters: lisadreisig,
SandraMort |
|
22:25:14 |
crunchychristianmom |
I WANT to be the one who can handle that
volume and intensity of emotion |
|
22:25:26 |
crunchychristianmom |
but it's as hard for me to handle much
of the time. |
|
22:25:38 |
Scott_Noelle |
He's your teacher, too! :) |
|
22:25:51 |
crunchychristianmom |
What can I do/say inside myself when
this happens to slow down my reaction
time?? |
|
22:26:02 |
Scott_Noelle |
WWJD? |
|
22:26:10 |
crunchychristianmom |
exactly!!! :) |
|
22:26:33 |
crunchychristianmom |
oh dear, baby's calling, gonna have to
pass the torch... thanks, Scott, for all
you do!! |
|
22:26:51 |
Scott_Noelle |
You're welcome, ccm... Next? |
|
22:26:56 |
lisadreisig |
My dh and I are new to positive
parenting. How can we find the balance
between saying "yes" as often as
possible, but still providing
discipline? |
|
22:27:14 |
Webmama_Tina |
current chatter:lisadreisig ...upcoming
chatters: SandraMort |
|
22:28:23 |
Scott_Noelle |
I don't agree with all the tenets of
Positive Discipline, but it's a great
step forward from conventional
parenting... |
|
22:29:11 |
Scott_Noelle |
The discipline that's important is your
self-discipline of unconditional love... |
|
22:29:50 |
Scott_Noelle |
Check out my article at
http://www.scottnoelle.com/parenting/unconditional.htm |
|
22:30:00 |
lisadreisig |
I use the term as "I" understand
things, not as I've seen them written
out. |
|
22:30:14 |
Scott_Noelle |
Good idea. :) |
|
22:30:34 |
lisadreisig |
My dh and I both just read Unconditional
parenting, and now we're afraid to ever
stop him from dong anything! |
|
22:30:55 |
lisadreisig |
uh, doing |
|
22:31:25 |
Scott_Noelle |
If you pay attention to how YOU feel,
you'll notice when you've exceeded a
personally boundary... |
|
22:31:52 |
lisadreisig |
how do I know its not just old paradigms
talking? |
|
22:32:08 |
Scott_Noelle |
Your discipline is to *honor* your
feeling/boundary, i.e., say YES to
*that*. |
|
22:32:41 |
lisadreisig |
thanks |
|
22:33:28 |
Webmama_Tina |
sandra's next |
|
22:33:38 |
Scott_Noelle |
You can assume that the old tapes are
playing, so part of the discipline is to
question the boundaries and limits... Is
that *really* my limit?... |
|
22:33:41 |
Webmama_Tina |
and that would be the last one and we
are at the end of our time! :) |
|
22:34:21 |
Scott_Noelle |
In that way you become more empowered,
less limited. Okay? |
|
22:34:50 |
lisadreisig |
I tink that makes sense. |
|
22:34:58 |
Scott_Noelle |
Good question! |
|
22:35:14 |
Scott_Noelle |
Sandra? |
|
22:35:17 |
SandraMort |
I'm having a bit of trouble wading
through the Ishmael site you suggested a
little while ago... ok, I don't
understand *any* of it... or much of
what you've said here... |
|
22:35:22 |
SandraMort |
but you said there's a piece on
unschooling, which is a topic dear to my
heart. Can't find it, though. Where is
it? |
|
22:36:35 |
Scott_Noelle |
I'll dig it up and send it to you if you
email me your request.
info@enjoyparenting.com |
|
22:36:39 |
MommatoLily |
http://www.ishmael.com/Education/Writings/unschooling.shtml |
|
22:36:54 |
SandraMort |
Ah, thank you |
|
22:37:00 |
Scott_Noelle |
Never mind. MommatoLily, you're hired!
;) |
|
22:37:04 |
Webmama_Tina |
lol |
|
22:37:08 |
SandraMort |
And thank you for coming to speak with
us this evening |
|
22:37:11 |
MommatoLily |
Great! |
|
22:37:11 |
Webmama_Tina |
well we are out of time! |
|
22:37:20 |
Webmama_Tina |
thank you scott! great chat! |
|
22:37:26 |
Webmama_Tina |
i agree with sandra...very deep...LOL |
|
22:37:32 |
ModWendyCooper |
Thank you Scott! |
|
22:37:36 |
Scott_Noelle |
My pleasure! Thank you all for playing!
:) |
